How much I miss you

Everytime I felt I need a friend...
Every time I looked beside me wishing someone was next to me..
Everytime I walked alone...
Everytime I smiled..
Everytime I laughed out loud...
Everytime I needed a shoulder to cry on...
Everytime I looked at a couple..
Everytime somebody mentioned your name ...
Everytime I was asked were u in love anytime..
Everytime I badly needed a hug...
Everytime I saw my phone...
Everytime my phone rang...
Everytime my astro forecast said I will be getting a great surprise...
Everytime I got a minute away from work...
Everytime I got appreciated for my work, I wished u were there to listen...

I kept dialing your number and canceling the call...
I kept staring at your pictures and hoping you would call...


How will I say how many times I remembered you when u never off my thoughts...when u were always there

Do you ever feel like just going back to the time n change things...
Just if you could think for some more time than you did...
Just talked a little more than you did..
Just walked with a little more than you did...
Just played with a little more than you did...
Just stayed with a little more than you did...
Just let go the ego a little more than you did...
Just give time a little more than you did...
Just hug a little more than you did...

For you - Janu and Shru

How much I miss you girls…

The silent talks with Shru, the non-stop talks with janu,

Endless giggles…

And next minute matured talks about future,

And next minute plans to elope from the society to a place where only we would hang out together…

Talks about how people are, how we are, how nothing made sense except for what we did.

Letters we wrote to each other though we met every single day,

The shayaris dedicated to each other, though mine sounded the most ‘not-shayari’ type shayari…:P

The words we didn’t have to speak, because we understood the silence much better,

The explanations we didn’t have to give each other,

Life was just beautiful.. had nothing worry about except for exams and how we would be celebrating if we score less, how late can we go home, what good reason can we come up with to be late…

To be continued

Just a thought.....

i dont want to hear all the flowery words from you...
i do not want you to tell me everything good about me...
I can take some anger..
i can take ur moods...
i can take your never ending talks...
i can take your silence...
but i cant take it when you treat me like im just another gal...
i cant take it when you say me the same words that you did to anyother girl...
i cant take it when you say u love me for wat i am while you actually want me to change..
i cant take it when i know i was not the only gal u loved ..
i cant take it when you say i was just an option...


thr are times when all i want is ur silence...
all i want is ur smile to say u r wit me...
a gesture to say u trust me...
two positive words to say u blv in me 
one nod to say u understand what i say...
a msg to say u just remembered me..
a call to listen to me....








to be continued...

Love

I wish there was a land where there is no people around to judge you,

Where there are no things that hurt you,

Not a perfect world,

But a World where LOVE had the real meaning,

And she was treated right.

Here LOVE stands,with her tears, being ashamed and humiliated by us with the definitions we give her,

With the way we treat her,

With the pain we give her,

With the way we use her for our reasons..,

With the way we kill her slowly and gradually by telling her she is the reason for all the mess we created…

I can hear her cry….Can you???

missing you

I dono what you call this feeling..
This feeling I get when i close my eyes, my eyes wish to see you,
my palms stretched ,waiting you to catch them,
I am waiting to hear from you,
my heart shivers inside without you...


Would you ever realize this and come to me...
Hold me in your arms like before...
And make me feel I belong to you...


I miss those small textx from you,
the small msgs you sent me,
the warm smile you gave me..
the small things that made me feel so special
the words which made me feel I am special to you...
I miss those initial days where it was about us and not about U or Me...

For you Dad,

Never thought I would write anything for you but whatever I am writing here is from my heart. Love you daddy.


Appa, every time you gave me strict looks all i thought was "My father doesn't like me", I din't realise that was your way of teaching me discipline.....
everytime you scolded mom I hated you more and more for the fact that I loved her, but I never realised she's first yours and then mine...
everytime you shouted at the people who worked under you, i concluded that you dont like people being happy, I din't realise that was just one of your ways to get the things done from them,....
everytime you stopped me from doing crazy things I regretted why I did not have a father like my friend has , without realising that each person is different from others...
everytime you refused to come for the parents meeting I told myself you hated me more you weren't proud of me, i didnot know that you felt inferior about not being educated to the level of my friends parents.....
everytime you refused to buy me expensive things, i told myself again that you dont like me, but again i forgot that you had struggled all your life to get me a life like this and you wanted me to know the value of it....


Sorry dad, i forgot to see beyond things...
I forgot to thank you for the confortable life you have given me...
Sorry that i concentrated so much on the negatives that I forgot to appreciate the love you showed me,...
Sorry dad, i forgot to recognise the little gestures you gave me to show your love for me...
The smile and pride you showed among your friends to say your daughter was one of the top rankers
The kiss on my forehead when i was asleep after all the scoldings i get from you...
Getting things which is similar to the expensive things i asked you as a surprise...
Making sure I donot know that you are struggling for the money you arrange for me..
Making sure that i donot end up in a situation where I have to give reasons for anyone in future with your strict rules...
Making sure that i go for class trips without fail so that i don loose all the small happiness i get in that age..
You gave up so many things for my happiness...
I am sorry dad...i forgot to recognise all this...all i saw was the other side of you and that blocked my view...
Till now never have you said you are regretting to have me as a daughter everytime all I saw was the pride in your eyes...
I am ashamed to say this dad....though you gave me everything and i gave you nothing i was a mean kid and said i wish I had a better father...I am sorry dad...for all the love, sacrifices you made for me,,...this is what i gave you....I am sorry dad....

Now I have realised everything dad....I don have the rights to say I am sorry...

All I want to say is....Appa i love you....and im proud that Iam your daughter